Stretched Too Thin

I am in fundraiser hell. As the Assistant Director of the nursery school where my kids go, fundraisers are my responsibility. After doing this for four years now, you would think I would have a handle on it. This year I did. I had my brochures way ahead of time, my flyers all made up. I called way back in August to set up the delivery time of our product for October only to find out that the prices had changed and the brochures and collection envelopes that the company had sent to me months ago (initiated by their phone call, mind you) were no good. So I needed to get rid of my stock, that I had already prepared for delivery to our students, and they needed to send me new ones.

Well, I thought, at least we found out in plenty of time. Our fundraiser wasn't due to start for three weeks. That gave me plenty of time to prepare the new brochures. Except that they didn't ever send me the brochures. I called when, three days after they were promised, they hadn't shown up. "Oh I can't seem to find that request in the computer," is what I was told. "They were only sending you a new portfolio, which you should have gotten a long time ago." Well, I never got a new portfolio, and I need all new brochures. "Funny," I said, "because when I spoke with Pam two weeks ago, our whole conversation revolved around the fact that my brochures were no longer good because your prices had changed. The whole purpose of the conversation was that I needed new brochures."

So anyway, I received the brochures the evening of the day that my sale was supposed to start. I kicked butt on them, got them prepared and up to the school so that the teacher for the three year olds could get them out. I am working on the four year old classes' today and will get them to the teacher in time to be distributed to those classes when they meet next.

What all of this has me thinking about is what will I do next year, when I have a little baby and am trying to move? How am I going to handle my responsibilities on the nursery school committee and four children? (Two of which will be in elementary school, one toddler and one baby.) And when we hope to sell our house and buy a new one next year? I won't even have a child in the nursery school program. I had been planning on continuing on the committee for that extra year in between my middle boy and my girl.

I don't know if it is feasible to stretch myself that thin. But I am terrible at saying "no". I have tremendous guilt when I choose myself or my family over something else. How am I going to tell the director, who is a good friend, that I don't think I will be coming back next year. It will leave her in a bind to find someone to fill the position and train them. I have been in this position for four years now. Consistency on the committee has been so important these last few years. If I stuck it out, I would be the Assistant Director for nine years in a row by the time all of my children have gone through the program. It is going to take so much courage for me to have that conversation. And I don't want to feel like a failure, either. But the more I think on it, the more I believe that it will be too much for me to handle, and it won't be fair to my family. Admitting that it is too much for me will feel like an admission of failure.

This fundraiser is just the beginning. As the year goes on, I am positive that it is going to become even more evident that continuing in this position will not work for me with four kids. Anyway, back to my brochure prep. I guess I need to talk to the director soon, so she has plenty of warning!