Rambling
So, I promised myself that I would keep up with blogging and it has been a few days since my last post. It has been a bit of a busy week. Halloween is tomorrow, so the kids have school parties this week. Plus there is soccer, parent teacher conferences, and laundry. There is always laundry. This will be a bit of a rambling post as I am not feeling inspired by any one event at the moment.
I broke my toe last Sunday, a week and a half ago. It was a pretty bad break: deformed toe, intense pain, horrible bruising. I rested it as much as possible for the beginning of the week, but by Thursday I got a shoe on and life continued. This week, I have been on it a lot every day and wearing a shoe most of the day. After not having any pain for a couple days, it is bothering me today more. Maybe I got too confident and was walking too fast on it the last couple days.
The youngest's party was Monday. I went in to be an extra parent helper. There were lots of us there, so it was an easy party. They did a couple relay games, guessed the number of candy corn, gummie bears and gumballs in jars and had a snack. There are a couple kids in the class who have food allergies, so I felt very good about being able to help out with that since I am an "Allergy Mom." The kids were adorable, and I could tell my little guy was glad that I was there.
My little girlie's party is this afternoon. I sent in toilet paper for a game that they are playing - making mummies. She has been dying to know what the TP was needed for, but I didn't give it away. :) Should be fun to see them tear into that activity! I spent years as the room mom, and then last year I couldn't attend as many parties because of my parent's circumstances, so I am glad to step back and be able to just help out and enjoy the parties this year.
I spent a while thinking about my mom yesterday. I don't know why she was on my mind more yesterday. Sometimes it is just that way. Maybe because my Aunt and I talked a bit about that last month when I saw her on Monday. Maybe because I watched a couple episodes of The Long Island Medium while folding laundry in the afternoon. I have come to love that show, and while I am a bit skeptical about it all, I think that Theresa is a hoot and provides an incredible gift to the people she meets. I would love to meet her one day and see if she could feel my mom. I wonder, if my mom did "come through", what she would communicate. Some things transpired between us in her last days that were very difficult, hurtful and sad. I didn't say things I should have, she said things (in moments of hurt and pain) that she probably shouldn't have. I carry guilt with me some days and others I am able to let it go because her situation was brought about in large part by choices that she made. Last night those things were on my mind, and I wonder if she would let me know that she was glad that my brothers and I were able to care for her the way we did in the end given our horrible circumstances with my Dad in ICU after his heart attack, or if she would still be mad that she was unable to die at home. It still bothers me that she died alone - at least without any of her family with her; the hospice facility said that someone was with her but I don't know who. I hate that. I should have been there. I know I couldn't be, I was taking my daughter to the doctor for strep throat at the time and I couldn't be in two places at once, but it bothers me that it worked out that way and I wonder sometimes what the reasoning was. I wonder if she knows that I wish so desperately that one of us had been there to hold her hand so she wouldn't die with a stranger watching. These are the musings that those who are left behind have, I guess. I think anyone who has experienced the death of someone close to them thinks about these things and wishes there were a way to get the answers they seek.
I warned you this would be rambling....
This is a short school week for the kids. They are off tomorrow and Friday. I love short weeks - much less stressful with less homework dinner/rush. Although this week, we still have had soccer and we have parent/teacher conferences and Halloween which will give a different kind of rush in the evenings. Tomorrow we are getting hair cuts and maybe going grocery shopping with my Dad, depending on the time. Friday, I think we will go shopping for winter coats. It is getting chilly and we all need them. Even me...I have had the same casual coat for years and it has finally worn out. We also need to work on getting the house picked up and cleaned on Friday. We have a soccer tournament all weekend (hopefully, if my oldest wins his games) and a Ravens game on Sunday. Maybe, if we get all of our chores finished, we could even invite someone over to hang out on Saturday afternoon...my kids always get invited to play dates and we rarely do the inviting.
Off to get to my girlie's party, and take care of some laundry...there is always laundry.
I broke my toe last Sunday, a week and a half ago. It was a pretty bad break: deformed toe, intense pain, horrible bruising. I rested it as much as possible for the beginning of the week, but by Thursday I got a shoe on and life continued. This week, I have been on it a lot every day and wearing a shoe most of the day. After not having any pain for a couple days, it is bothering me today more. Maybe I got too confident and was walking too fast on it the last couple days.
The youngest's party was Monday. I went in to be an extra parent helper. There were lots of us there, so it was an easy party. They did a couple relay games, guessed the number of candy corn, gummie bears and gumballs in jars and had a snack. There are a couple kids in the class who have food allergies, so I felt very good about being able to help out with that since I am an "Allergy Mom." The kids were adorable, and I could tell my little guy was glad that I was there.
My little girlie's party is this afternoon. I sent in toilet paper for a game that they are playing - making mummies. She has been dying to know what the TP was needed for, but I didn't give it away. :) Should be fun to see them tear into that activity! I spent years as the room mom, and then last year I couldn't attend as many parties because of my parent's circumstances, so I am glad to step back and be able to just help out and enjoy the parties this year.
I spent a while thinking about my mom yesterday. I don't know why she was on my mind more yesterday. Sometimes it is just that way. Maybe because my Aunt and I talked a bit about that last month when I saw her on Monday. Maybe because I watched a couple episodes of The Long Island Medium while folding laundry in the afternoon. I have come to love that show, and while I am a bit skeptical about it all, I think that Theresa is a hoot and provides an incredible gift to the people she meets. I would love to meet her one day and see if she could feel my mom. I wonder, if my mom did "come through", what she would communicate. Some things transpired between us in her last days that were very difficult, hurtful and sad. I didn't say things I should have, she said things (in moments of hurt and pain) that she probably shouldn't have. I carry guilt with me some days and others I am able to let it go because her situation was brought about in large part by choices that she made. Last night those things were on my mind, and I wonder if she would let me know that she was glad that my brothers and I were able to care for her the way we did in the end given our horrible circumstances with my Dad in ICU after his heart attack, or if she would still be mad that she was unable to die at home. It still bothers me that she died alone - at least without any of her family with her; the hospice facility said that someone was with her but I don't know who. I hate that. I should have been there. I know I couldn't be, I was taking my daughter to the doctor for strep throat at the time and I couldn't be in two places at once, but it bothers me that it worked out that way and I wonder sometimes what the reasoning was. I wonder if she knows that I wish so desperately that one of us had been there to hold her hand so she wouldn't die with a stranger watching. These are the musings that those who are left behind have, I guess. I think anyone who has experienced the death of someone close to them thinks about these things and wishes there were a way to get the answers they seek.
I warned you this would be rambling....
This is a short school week for the kids. They are off tomorrow and Friday. I love short weeks - much less stressful with less homework dinner/rush. Although this week, we still have had soccer and we have parent/teacher conferences and Halloween which will give a different kind of rush in the evenings. Tomorrow we are getting hair cuts and maybe going grocery shopping with my Dad, depending on the time. Friday, I think we will go shopping for winter coats. It is getting chilly and we all need them. Even me...I have had the same casual coat for years and it has finally worn out. We also need to work on getting the house picked up and cleaned on Friday. We have a soccer tournament all weekend (hopefully, if my oldest wins his games) and a Ravens game on Sunday. Maybe, if we get all of our chores finished, we could even invite someone over to hang out on Saturday afternoon...my kids always get invited to play dates and we rarely do the inviting.
Off to get to my girlie's party, and take care of some laundry...there is always laundry.
posted by mother juggler @ 1:51 PM
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