My Life Would Be So Much Calmer If Only...
Life is just so crazy that I can't seem to catch up. We moved five months ago and there are still boxes in almost every room. Since we moved, my mother was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. It is terminal; she was given 18 to 24 months. She was pretty sick in the beginning so I was spending all of my time at her house helping out, with my kids in tow. So in addition to all of the moving craze, my family was dealing with the emotional and physical strain of that. Then it was back to school time, which is always pretty stressful. It was a crazy few months. Thankfully, my mom's treatments are working. She is feeling better and moving around on her own again.
Just when things started looking up (relatively speaking) for her, my five year old son fell and broke his femur. That was three and a half weeks ago. He is in a Spica cast which goes from around his waist, down the injured leg all the way to his ankle. We had a very stressful week or so where we were adjusting to working with him in the cast and where his health was in question. For about 36 hours, my husband and I feared the worst and thought that he had bone cancer. We were told that he had a tumor on his bone but were not given enough information about it. After another visit to the ER because of unexplained fevers, and another set of x-rays. The doctors informed us that the tumor is a non-ossified fibroma. A benign bone tumor that is not uncommon. I spent so much time in those 36 hours bargaining with God and praying. I was thinking that it wasn't fair. That it shouldn't happen to my kid. But what makes us any different than someone else whose child gets bone cancer. Is it ever fair? That experience has made me so grateful for all of the stresses in my life that are related to my children!
So, no more school for him until the cast comes off. He can't do anything for himself, so it is kind of like I have two infants at home plus a two year old. At least my ten month old can get around himself! He started crawling and pulling up on everything. There went any freedom to move around the house that I had. Now I have to have my eyes on him constantly. But I am thankful for my kids' health, so I don't care.
Because my five year old is in a wheel chair, and I have to use the double stroller for the other two, I can't go anywhere during the day unless I have another adult with me. I can't push both vehicles. I tried. So unless my eight year old is home (he can push the wheel chair), or I call someone for help. I am stuck in the house. That is driving me crazy! I have stretched my babysitters to the limit over the last three weeks. But I am thankful for my kids' health, so I try not to stress about it.
So, I can't catch up. My house is a wreck because I am constantly running from one kid to the next. In the morning we hurry up and get ready for school. I get the oldest on the bus. I try to get a chore done, but it doesn't always happen. I run from changing, to chasing, to kissing booboos. Then it is snack time. One goes down for a nap. Then I run around some more chasing them, wiping butts, helping them find what they are looking for. Then it is lunch time. Then I put one down for a nap when another one wakes up from a nap. Then I have to feed, change and chase all over again. Then one goes down for a nap when another one gets up from a nap. Then, my oldest is off the bus and it is time for homework hell and dinner. I have lost any time I had to get "projects" done. Things like unpacking boxes, changing out the kids clothes that don't fit anymore, or creating invitations for a party. I do the laundry, but there is always somebody's that doesn't get put away. I clean the kitchen floor, but ten minutes later, the kids have eaten again and it needs to be cleaned again. But am thankful for my kids' health, so I try not to let it drive me insane.
How do I keep these things from driving me insane? I don't really know. I nag my husband and take a lot of frustration out on him. I yell at my kids a lot, which I really hate. I throw up my hands a lot. And I have just let a lot go. I try not to get upset about the small stuff. If I have laundry all over my couch and someone comes to the door, I just have to say "Oh well." When you can't see the kitchen counter and someone is coming over, I just have to say "Oh well." And every time I start thinking about how much calmer my life would be if only...I remember what it felt like when we didn't know, when we thought the worst, when I would have traded anything for my son's health. Thankfully I didn't have to. I learned a valuable lesson.
I have counted the number of times I have had to get up to help someone, get someone out of trouble, issue a time out, etc. since I started this post. I am up to six times. And my two year old daughter (Little Mommy) has now undressed the baby. Guess I should get back to them and to another day of not being able to catch up. But I am truly thankful for my kids' health, so I don't let it get to me.
Just when things started looking up (relatively speaking) for her, my five year old son fell and broke his femur. That was three and a half weeks ago. He is in a Spica cast which goes from around his waist, down the injured leg all the way to his ankle. We had a very stressful week or so where we were adjusting to working with him in the cast and where his health was in question. For about 36 hours, my husband and I feared the worst and thought that he had bone cancer. We were told that he had a tumor on his bone but were not given enough information about it. After another visit to the ER because of unexplained fevers, and another set of x-rays. The doctors informed us that the tumor is a non-ossified fibroma. A benign bone tumor that is not uncommon. I spent so much time in those 36 hours bargaining with God and praying. I was thinking that it wasn't fair. That it shouldn't happen to my kid. But what makes us any different than someone else whose child gets bone cancer. Is it ever fair? That experience has made me so grateful for all of the stresses in my life that are related to my children!
So, no more school for him until the cast comes off. He can't do anything for himself, so it is kind of like I have two infants at home plus a two year old. At least my ten month old can get around himself! He started crawling and pulling up on everything. There went any freedom to move around the house that I had. Now I have to have my eyes on him constantly. But I am thankful for my kids' health, so I don't care.
Because my five year old is in a wheel chair, and I have to use the double stroller for the other two, I can't go anywhere during the day unless I have another adult with me. I can't push both vehicles. I tried. So unless my eight year old is home (he can push the wheel chair), or I call someone for help. I am stuck in the house. That is driving me crazy! I have stretched my babysitters to the limit over the last three weeks. But I am thankful for my kids' health, so I try not to stress about it.
So, I can't catch up. My house is a wreck because I am constantly running from one kid to the next. In the morning we hurry up and get ready for school. I get the oldest on the bus. I try to get a chore done, but it doesn't always happen. I run from changing, to chasing, to kissing booboos. Then it is snack time. One goes down for a nap. Then I run around some more chasing them, wiping butts, helping them find what they are looking for. Then it is lunch time. Then I put one down for a nap when another one wakes up from a nap. Then I have to feed, change and chase all over again. Then one goes down for a nap when another one gets up from a nap. Then, my oldest is off the bus and it is time for homework hell and dinner. I have lost any time I had to get "projects" done. Things like unpacking boxes, changing out the kids clothes that don't fit anymore, or creating invitations for a party. I do the laundry, but there is always somebody's that doesn't get put away. I clean the kitchen floor, but ten minutes later, the kids have eaten again and it needs to be cleaned again. But am thankful for my kids' health, so I try not to let it drive me insane.
How do I keep these things from driving me insane? I don't really know. I nag my husband and take a lot of frustration out on him. I yell at my kids a lot, which I really hate. I throw up my hands a lot. And I have just let a lot go. I try not to get upset about the small stuff. If I have laundry all over my couch and someone comes to the door, I just have to say "Oh well." When you can't see the kitchen counter and someone is coming over, I just have to say "Oh well." And every time I start thinking about how much calmer my life would be if only...I remember what it felt like when we didn't know, when we thought the worst, when I would have traded anything for my son's health. Thankfully I didn't have to. I learned a valuable lesson.
I have counted the number of times I have had to get up to help someone, get someone out of trouble, issue a time out, etc. since I started this post. I am up to six times. And my two year old daughter (Little Mommy) has now undressed the baby. Guess I should get back to them and to another day of not being able to catch up. But I am truly thankful for my kids' health, so I don't let it get to me.
posted by mother juggler @ 8:49 AM
0 comments
